I Believe the Children Are Our Future...Help Us

So Kev Tha Project messages me, and is like, yo! Wuzzup? “I’m late! That’s wuzzup!” LOL So as I sit here with my iPad out catching glimpses of Dorian beating on a bass drum behind some gyrating teenage girls at a high school football game while eating peanut m&m’s (I know they’re not vegan damn it, but cut me some slack I need the protein) I’m attempting to drum up something witty to post, but the smells of teen spirit (in the form of overly enthused Old Spice user sitting behind me) is causing me to tear up and making the tiny keyboard hard to manage. I will attempt to not disappoint, but I really think throwing an m&m at the booed up underage couple in front of me would be more useful than me consuming them...i digress.

Teenagers are stupid. Wait, I’m sorry, the youth are our future, and I believe...we are all doomed! Wait, that came out wrong, what i meant to say is that all stupid people should immediately cease procreating now and kill themselves. Holy shit, this is not working, I should probably get out of smelling distance of Old Spice kid. 

Okay, I’ll try again...did this girl in daisy dukes in 65 degree weather just ask this appropriately dressed young man for his jacket? Is it chivalrous if he gives it to her or is he encouraging her little dumb ass to keep dressing inappropriately for the weather? And we can‘t ask her mother to come up to the school and bring her more clothes, because she’s somewhere sitting in the stands with her own shirt riding up her back displaying her ass crack to the underaged masses. 

I’m really trying to say something blog worthy folks...

I know it’s breast cancer awareness month, but some of these folks just need to come out the closet as a cross dresser already and fly your pink freak flag high and proud. I mean this is 2017 folks, if you can’t be proud now then when can you. And what the fuq is up with the mascot, I’ve never wanted to run onto the field and tackle a more boring canine in my life. Are you a mascot or is it Halloween. Oh wait, fuqqin Old Spice kid is actually someone’s dad. See, we are doomed. That’s it folks, I give up trying for tonight. Check back later when I’ve recouped from bloody nostrils and tears eyes...and possibly bubble guts from consuming whatever the kids are selling at the snack bar.

Continue to love and f;ght,

Andrea Y. Jones